<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Cost of Silence by Anonymous</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23910637">The Cost of Silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:54:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23910637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Levy/Noah Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Cost of Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Dan, why are you shutting me out?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What did I do?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan read the text and winced.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Why do you think I’m shutting you out?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Um, for one you won’t repost any of my stuff </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You won’t comment or like it anymore, either</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I’m hardly online, but I still notice, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s music stuff, and you always used to support me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What’s going on?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his fingers getting tangled in the curls near the ends. He yanked his hand out and rubbed his scalp. He really needed a haircut.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I’m annoyed</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t a complete lie. He was annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why are you annoyed?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I keep seeing people post stuff of you socializing </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And not wearing a mask</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And it’s annoying</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You should know better</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>People around you should definitely know better</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You’re shutting me out because I’m not wearing a mask?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Partially</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Partially.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Okay, why else?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan sighed and walked outside to sit on a deck chair. Better to have this conversation in the sun. Redman followed him out and plunked down on the cement next to him. Dan reached down and ruffled his fur before staring at his phone again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>You’re there</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I’m here</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Um, that’s been the case for a while, Dan</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Yeah, but before, we had the option of seeing each other</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I had the ability to hop on a plane and meet up with you</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>So, the distance wasn’t such a thing like it is now</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This will all end eventually, Dan</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Not if people like you don’t start wearing masks!</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wow, okay</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll be more aware of that, alright?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I mean, I don’t know why you’re not already</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You should be, given the people around you</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Okay, so I feel like there is more to this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re upset about more than just the masks</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Of course I am</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Care to tell me why?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan groaned and leaned back, letting his arm trail down to the ground. Red gave the back of his hand a couple fortifying licks, and Dan raised it back the phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>What was January to you, Noah?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Or February? </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>If this shut down hadn’t happened, would we have continued whatever that was?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Or was that just you letting off some steam before you went back to your real life?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You really think that was me just letting off steam?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>You don’t seem too bothered that we can’t do it again anytime soon</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You seem pretty happy with what you got going on </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You think I’m happy?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I don’t know, you tell me</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m not happy, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m just making due with the situation I’m currently in</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Could have fooled me</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dan, I sang you songs on like last live and you didn’t even log in to watch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I noticed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That hurt a lot</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I watched it later</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Did you know they were for you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>At first I thought maybe, but then your commentary made me think otherwise</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m just telling people what they want to hear</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It makes life easier right now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You should have known that, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the king of doing that in interviews</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I don’t know what’s in your head, Noah, because you never tell me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>So, how the hell would I know what’s true right now?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dan, the last couple times we saw each other were true, okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That wasn’t just me getting something out of my system</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’d wanted you forever and I still do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was real for me</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>It was real for me, too</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So, you’re shutting me out why?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Because, how can this possibly work?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We can’t travel, so we can’t see each other</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You’re there in a situation you are “making due” with</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Which, honestly, does not give me much confidence in the possibility of us working out, long term</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I feel like the idea of us is a nothing but a pipe dream</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Maybe we should just look back on those nights together as pleasant memories</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They were more than pleasant, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You fucking know that</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I know, I was there</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But, sentiment remains the same</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I didn’t cause this quarantine, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why are you punishing me for it?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I know you didn’t, but it came at a really weird time for us</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Almost like a sign</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, okay, so a virus wiping out half the world happened because the universe is telling us we shouldn’t be together?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s logical</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I don’t know, Noah!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Maybe?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dan, you’re being ridiculous</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was going to see you again last month</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You were coming to my concerts</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We were going to be together on the Farewell Tour</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I know, and now we’re not</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You know how much that hurts?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of course I do!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It hurts me too</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Again, could have fooled me</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus fucking Christ, Dan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you want me to cry on Instagram?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Would that prove to you how much I fucking hate this?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Well, that might help</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Okay, I can’t with you right now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is dumb</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hey, you asked</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I’m just telling you how I feel</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Well, here’s something to take into account</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You fucking idiot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And my life sucks right now because I can’t be with you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it is what it is, and in order to not jump off a bridge, I’m trying to make due</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cut me a little slack</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This isn’t fun for me</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan stared at his phone, his eyes watering. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? They’d never said the L-word, not even during those long nights wrapped in each other’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What? No response? Cat got your tongue?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Do you mean that?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of course I mean it!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could you believe any different?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You know how it is between us</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How it was between us, those nights we were together</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I need some time to figure this out, Noah</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>This is a lot for me to deal with</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>All of this</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You’re so far away</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I know I am!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I wish it was different</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just don’t shut me out, please?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t give up on us</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I need to think</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Can you at least tell me? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Tell you what?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How you feel</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you feel the same?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is it the same for you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dan blinked, trying to see through the tears. Red stood on his hind legs and licked his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, buddy,” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>It’s the same</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I love you</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I just don’t know if that’s enough</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Give me some time, Noah</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>With that, he turned off his phone and stared out at the pool, the rippling of the water somehow soothing him as he sobbed.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>